I haven’t posted in a while, but I have a doozy for you.
Now you know that I have yet to fully enter back into the dating game. I had a brief foray (12 hours) of internet dating, but chickened out. I really have no patience having to filter through all the liars. I have friends who do the Internet dating thing, and I always roll my eyes when they tell me they’re dating a divorced man who is having issues with his psycho ex-wife. OF COURSE it’s always their psycho ex-wife, right? 😆
Anyway, I go to the gym at lunch sometimes. Often there are regular staff members that go. I work at a BIG place, so most likely you don’t know a lot of people. At that time long ago, I always went to the gym along with my BFF “P”. One day a coworker saw only me at the gym, and she came up to me and asked where my workout buddy was. Before I could say “I didn’t know”, this guy who looked like Jerry Seinfeld with glasses, who was on the exercise bike, pipes in: “Oh, “P” just stepped out.” WTF. So I relayed the story to “P” later on. I described what he looked like, and she recollected seeing him in the gym. But she insisted she has never met him, so how did he know her name? We were pretty creeped out by that.
So about a month later, I’m walking to the change room when I walk past him. He looks familiar, but I don’t think anything of it. He stops me, and starts a conversation. Asks my name, and where I work. I mean, I’m thinking that since this guy works at the same place, things are cool. He tells me he works in a certain department, on contract. He works with finance or something. Small talk, yadda yadda.
OK, then waaaaaaaaay months go by. Last week I’m walking down a hallway, and he stops me again. I don’t remember him at first, and he has to remind me. Asks how I’m doing. It was very brief. I had to get back to work.
OK, THEN this past Monday, I’m rushing to my fitness class. I fill my water bottle and I’m scooting to the class. He sees me, and tries to stop me to small talk again, and I tell him I’m late for class. We head our separate ways. Anyway, damn me for being so slow. But I guess he turned around, and catches back up to me. He says that he always wanted to ask me, but was getting up the nerve, but could he have my number. Oh Christ almighty. I felt backed against the wall, and I didn’t know what to do. In highschool, I always felt obliged to dance with a guy who asks me, as I didn’t want to hurt their feelings if I turned them down. So I’m like: “Uh, uh….I guess so.” Stupid, stupid, stupid. I am such a physical person. I have never in my life gotten together with someone I wasn’t attracted to. Except for one blind date, where ironically the guy looked like Kramer on Seinfeld. Haha. Really, seriously. And that was my first, and LAST, blind date. I’m not saying all the guys I have been with were Adonises, but I was physically attracted to them. I was definately not attracted to this one.
Whatever. Of course I told “P” when I saw her. “OMG! You’ll never guess! Freaking Jerry Seinfeld asked for my number!!!!” But “P” encouraged me to just communicate with him. That you never know, and to keep my options open to different types of guys. She knows I always tend to go for the bad boys, and I need to break that tendency.
So this was Monday, and he asked for my number at about 12:30pm. I get a text message:
MIKE: 2:39pm – Hi, it’s Mike from XXX. How is ur day.
Oh fucking hell. He’s suffocating me already!!!! 😆 If you know me, you know that I have become very much like a guy when it comes to relationships. I am not about ooey gooey love and hearts. I am so busy with my kids, and I am not looking for no baby-daddy. My heart is completely 100% righteously selfishly-dedicated to my kids and myself. I really have no patience to deal with all the emotional balancing of a partner’s emotions. I do not feel that need to pair up at this moment.
Anyway, keep my mind open, right? And the thing is that I am nice and don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. Example me giving him my number even though I felt NOTHING. Ugh.
ME: 4:45pm – Hi, sorry, there is no cel reception where my desk is. It sucks. Off work now, but now on chauffeur duties for kids lessons.
MIKE: 4:48pm – No worries, can I call u later and chat. I look forward to it.
ME: 5:00pm – Maybe tomorrow evening. I still have to do dinner, and then my son has XXX practice tonight.
MIKE: 5:01pm – That’s OK, what time do u usually go to bed, I’m in classes till 10pm anyways.
ME: 6:01pm – The XXX is for about 2 hours. I’ll be too tired tonight. After class, still have to get little ones to have shower before bedtime. Tomorrow will be better.
MIKE: 6:06pm – I’ll give you a shout later anyways
WTF???! Didn’t I just TELL him straight out not to call me tonight? Now it’s annoying me. I don’t feel comfortable about this. He’s too pushy. He called a couple of times, but I didn’t pick up.
So the next day on Tuesday:
MIKE: 7:27am – Good morning.
OK, the nice person inside me felt guilty. C’mon, the guy is trying hard. I can’t fault him for that, right?
ME: 8:07am – Just got to work. Sorry, laid in bed with son and fell asleep. It was a crazy evening.
And it WAS a crazy evening of shuttling two kids to their lessons!!!! But…I did lie about falling asleep with my son. My bad.
MIKE: 8:15am – oooo so cute, I so appreciate that motherly care in a mom.
OMFG! I can’t take this. Maybe some girls would love it, but I just want to run for the hills!!!!
MIKE: 8:16am – by the way u look awesome.
MIKE: 9:15am – want go for a walk during lunch?
Well, I’m sorry. My life outside of work is all about my kids, and my lunch hour is my time at the gym. It’s my passion and I won’t skip it. I just ignored the text. And I went to the gym. PRAYING that I didn’t run into him. Hahaha.
MIKE: 12:34pm – did u get my message.
At this point, I really want this to stop. I feel nothing about him, and I’m not feeling comfortable. I talked to “P”, and she tells me he probably wants to get in my pants. Ewwwwwwww! Then she tells me to calm down. “You’re acting like he wants to marry you. Just take it like you’re making a new friend. Maybe he’ll turn out to be a great friend.” So then I’m thinking I’m over-reacting. Right?
ME: 4:23pm – Sorry, just got MSG now. Remember, I have no cel reception where I sit. Plus I have to warn you that I am not a phone-person. Sometimes my phone is lost inside my huge purse and I don’t hear it. I am not very attached to my phone.
MIKE: 4:25pm – no worries, I’m no phone person too, I prefer face-to-face.
MIKE: 8:15pm – call u in a bit
ME: 8:19pm – can you call at 9? Kids aren’t in bed yet.
MIKE: 8:30pm – sure, I look forward to chatting.
So the guy doesn’t call at 9. I pray that he doesn’t call at all. I’m just not feeling it. He calls twice around 10.
MIKE: 10:06pm – r u still up?
Yeah, I am. But I don’t want to talk on the phone with him. I’m so uncomfortable with all this.
So today (Wed). I’m so busy. I have a big meeting to go to, and I skipped lunch because I have to leave early to meet my kids’ teachers.
MIKE: 12:19pm – walk?
MIKE: 1:57pm – where r u?
So before I head to the teachers meeting, I decide to text him back.
ME: 3:04pm – Hi, I usually have my phone inside my desk all work hours, and don’t have reception. I had a big meeting, and then worked through lunch as I have meetings with kids’ teacher’s now. Going into school now.
I’m not lying. The cel reception is iffy in the area were I work. Most of the times my phone won’t ring.
ME: 3:06pm – I have a fitness class with XXX tomorrow. My life outside of work is all about my kids so usually it’s important to me to use my lunch hour for the gym as that is all about me. Otherwise, I can’t get to the gym.
I’m giving him a hint that I won’t take a walk with him tomorrow, but he never seems to listen.
MIKE: 3:06pm – I miss u.
RED FLAG! RED FLAG! RED FLAG!
Seriously, WTF!!! Miss WHAT???!!? I haven’t even spoken to him on the phone. What the fuck is he missing???!
MIKE: 3:07pm – let’s chat soon
MIKE: 3:07pm – I wanta start dating
OK, this fucking ends now! What I WANTED to text back is: “WTF is WRONG with you????!” But my mom always warned me not to mess with the crazy people. So I tried to be nice:
ME: 5:33pm – I’ve been sensing from your texts that you’re interested in something romantic. I’ll be straight up with you, as all my friends know that I am very honest and I won’t waste people’s times with games. I am not looking for a relationship, and I honestly don’t have any time for dating. I don’t think I’m the gal for you. I’m very selfish about my time, as I want to give all my time to my kids. That is why I am busy after work every day shuttling them around to their lessons or practices. And that is why I also use my lunch hours to always go to the gym as that is time for me, and working out makes me happy. At this point in my life, I can’t fit anyone else in my circle, you know what I mean? You seem like a very nice guy, and I think you deserve someone who’s heart is into it. My heart is my kids only right now.
MIKE: 5:35pm – it’s ok, come on give it a chance.
Fuck!
MIKE: 5:35pm – let’s do a quick hookup like 15 mins.
Holy fuck! Did he really just text what he did??!? You know what I wanted to text back to him???! “Have you fucking looked in a mirror???? WTF is wrong with you???!”
ME: 5:36pm – What??!!!?
MIKE: 5:41pm – u know (kissy face emoticon)
ME: 5:41pm – No thanks.
MIKE: 5:42pm – can I call u?
ME: 5:43pm – No, am at my kid’s lessons right now. I am not interested, and I am NOT interested in hook-ups. I am done texting. Thank you.
MIKE: 5:47pm – I was kidding around ur a great lady
ME: 5:49pm – Letting you know that it honestly came off wrong, and sounded rude. I can’t tell that you’re joking on text as I don’t know you. Thanks for clearing the air.
Yes, I know. I should have spewed insults right at him, but like my mom says, you don’t deal with crazy people. What a fucking creepy moron! He better not even try to talk to me if he runs into me! I would ignore the dummy, but knowing him, he’ll probably come up to me.
MIKE: 6:34pm – do u have any single gals u can recommend?
OMFG!!!!!!! I didn’t respond to him, and I won’t from this point on.
And then he CALLS me when I didn’t respond to his text.
I’m telling you, I will never ever ever EVER give out my number to a guy I’m not attracted to ever again!!!!! I’m not desperate to be in a relationship, so I am going to be picky. Lesson learned, I guess. I always get the crazy people.
I am still astounded. Of course I related this all to “P”! Hahaha. She is so disgusted by him. She wants to call him out to all the guys we know at the gym.
Fucking Jerry Seinfeld. I was so stressed out these past 3 days, and now I don’t have to be suffocated! Creepo!
UPDATE:
So it’s Thursday and he calls me this morning!!!
ME: 8:10am – Seriously, do NOT call me again. You are starting to make me uncomfortable. I am completely not interested, nor do I have any friends for you. If you happen to see me, do NOT approach me as I will NOT be welcoming. LOSE my number please.
MIKE: 8:11am – OK.
Holy christ. Please let this be over.
I went over the messages with my male buddy at work, and he was just shocked and creeped out too! He’s like: “I mean, this is just from Monday to Wednesday!!!!” I knooooow!!!! It’s just not right. Either he’s completely socially inept, or just a crazy loon. Both!
UPDATE:
Even creepier! We don’t even think this guy works here! He mentioned working in a certain department, and I just talked to one of the ladies and they have no idea who he is. What a stalker! OMG! This is what is out there?!??! Someone needs to send him back to Loserville.